Sex Positivity, Conscious Sexuality, and Tantra—What’s the Difference?
Sex positivity, conscious sexuality, and Tantra are often spoken about interchangeably, but they are three distinct things—so why is Tantra being used as a catch-all term for everything from sex parties to conscious sexuality workshops? Let’s break it down.
Sex Positivity: The Philosophy That Sex is Intrinsically Good
Sex positivity is the idea that sex is an intrinsic good, much like food is an intrinsic good. That doesn’t mean we can’t misuse it—just as eating takeaways every day will make us ill, unhealthy sexual dynamics can have negative effects. But that doesn’t change the fact that sex itself is an intrinsic good, something natural and valuable.
Conscious Sexuality: Awareness, Consent, and Healing
Conscious sexuality is the idea that we can approach our sexuality consciously. Under this umbrella, there are many practices that support people in letting go of shame, developing a clear focus on consent and boundaries, and reclaiming autonomy and pleasure over their own sexual experiences.
Tantra: A Spiritual Path, Not Just a Sexual Practice
And Tantra—Tantra is a spiritual path. It is a set of practices and a worldview that sees sexual energy as life energy, something we can work with to dissolve the ego and experience a deep, felt sense of interconnectedness—a way of accessing an intelligence beyond the self.
Tantra understands that trauma stops energy from circulating. Within Tantra, there are many techniques that can help release trauma from the body, release repressed emotions, and let go of physical tension. It is a spiritual path.
These are three very different things—so that begs the question:
Why is Everything Called Tantra These Days?
Why are so many conscious sexuality events called Tantra? Why is a sex party—for want of a better word—called a Temple?
I think the reason for that is both interesting and sad.
Conscious sexuality wants to differentiate itself from sex parties. And it does that because of internalized societal shame. Sex parties are seen as bad, so conscious sexuality wants to say, “We’re not that.”
By appropriating spiritual language and calling itself Tantra, it ends up internalizing the very shame it was trying to challenge.
But conscious sexuality is important. We have the right to enjoy our sexuality and our bodies in whatever shape or form feels right. Conscious sexuality creates spaces and practices that allow us to do that.
And I think it’s time that conscious sexuality calls itself what it is.
We are consciously sexuality, and we are important.
Not Tantra. Conscious Sexuality.
And maybe, just to end on a positive note—sex positivity is wonderful. It’s a wonderful philosophy. We should be positive about sex and see it as an intrinsic good, even if, for various reasons, we can sometimes use it unwisely—just like food.
