January 22, 2026

Here I am, surrounded by the smell of sage. I find myself in a room covered in mattresses and filled with people dressed in lingerie. The facilitator, clad in white robes, welcomes us to a ‘Tantric Temple’. They speak about the divine, how sexual energy is holy and how it will heal the world. A few connection exercises later (think eye-gazing and practising saying “yes” and “no”) and the space is opened for people to connect sexually with each other. This, I am told, is Tantra. Today, everything is called a Temple. What used to be called sex-positive or conscious sexuality events are now termed “Tantra” or “Tantric Temples”, and this poses a real and present threat to Tantra itself. Let me explain why: What is Tantra? And why is it under threat? “What is Here is Everywhere. What is not Here is Nowhere.” This line from the Vishvasara Tantra encapsulates the essence of Tantra. Tantra is a spiritual path that believes everything in the universe exists within our body, and if we cannot experience something through the body, then it doesn’t exist anywhere in the universe. Sexual energy is understood as the life force that births all forms, from cells to stars. The path teaches embodied practices to circulate this powerful energy around the body so that we may dissolve our ego, connect with the greater intelligence we are part of, direct the energy to manifest material forms (it is capable of creating far more than babies), and heal ourselves and others. Tantra understands repressed emotions, trauma, and tension as obstacles to the healthy circulation of life energy and offers powerful methods to remove these ‘blocks’ from the body. Tantra can be understood as the teaching of something beyond language through the body. A good Tantra teacher says only what is necessary for participants to enter a practice with the correct attitude and technique. The lesson is always through the technique itself. Why is Tantra under threat? Tantra is increasingly confused with Sex Positivity, a philosophy that views sex as an intrinsic and necessary good, much like food, and Conscious Sexuality, an approach to one’s sexuality that supports a healthy relationship with one’s sexual pleasure. One significant reason for this confusion, in my view, is the cultural shame that our society holds regarding sex. In an attempt to ‘broaden’ their market, those who facilitate sex-positive and conscious sexuality events appropriate spiritual language to differentiate themselves from being seen as ‘mere sex parties.’ This is having a terrible effect. It undermines the importance of Sex Positivity and Conscious Sexuality, which create vital, valuable spaces in which people learn to connect with their desires in healthy ways and to experience HEALTHY pleasure without shame. Even more worryingly, the effect of this confusion is to associate Tantra with sex, which obscures the true power of Tantra as a spiritual path and as a healing modality, particularly in relation to trauma. Moreover, as the term Tantra loses its meaning and is assimilated into our Western worldview, key tantric concepts become corrupted. Take the tantric teaching of polarity: the idea that there is always ‘form’ (for example, these words) and ‘awareness’ (an ever-present consciousness within which these forms exist). This concept has now been widely assimilated into our toxic patriarchal notions of gender. Shockingly, this powerful teaching has been twisted and robbed of its meaning to such a degree that, unfortunately, if you attend a ‘tantric’ event, you are likely to hear a nonsensical definition of polarity that goes something like this: “There is ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ energy”. Masculine energy represents leadership, direction, and strength—all the qualities that supposedly give men the right to rule the world. Feminine energy, on the other hand, is emotional, chaotic, and unstable—all the reasons we are told leave women unsuitable for power. The assimilation of Tantra into Western culture and its association with sex has, of course, led to increased interest in the term. This then leads to its commodification. If a ‘product’ is labelled ‘tantra’ or ‘tantric,’ it can command a higher price. This has led the cost of so-called ‘tantric’ events to spiral to truly shocking levels. The effect is disastrous. Access to sex-positive, conscious sexuality and genuinely tantric events is now so extraordinarily expensive that only the rich and privileged can attend. This has turned such important modalities—modalities that should be widely accessible—into playgrounds for the wealthy. It is my hope that we can stand up for the importance and beauty of Sex Positivity and Conscious Sexuality rather than hide them away under pseudo-spiritual language. It is my hope that Tantra can extract itself from the spiral of commodification and assimilation it seems caught in and be seen for the powerful, healing spiritual path that it is. Thank you for reading this month’s reflections.

An Unexpected Call My mobile buzzes in my pocket. It’s my mum. “Hello,” I say, barely paying attention as I clumsily turn over pieces of tofu frying in the pan. “I’m in the hospital,” she says. “They’ve found something that may or may not be cancer.” A contraction forms in my chest, my breath tightens, and I feel a rigid sense of calmness. We speak; I say all the right things. But after I end the call and sit on the edge of my bed, a powerful emotion tightens like a physical pain in my chest: fear. The Issue with Emotions as “Owned” or “Separate” In the Global North, we’re often taught to see emotions as either separate from us or as something we “own.” These beliefs can shape how we relate to our emotions in unhelpful and unhealthy ways: If emotions are “mine,” I may feel responsible or at fault for them. If emotions are not “mine,” someone else is responsible for my feeling them, so I blame them. If emotions are separate from me, then I may believe I must get rid of them. If emotions define me, I may see them as part of my personality, like being “an angry person.” These views make emotional regulation challenging and can lead us to suppress, reject, or feel overwhelmed by emotions. Over time, these emotions may become “stuck,” leading to numbness, anxiety, or depression. These views – underpinned by our belief in separation and ownership – make emotional regulation challenging and can lead us to suppress, reject, become numb to or feel overwhelmed by emotions. They can lead to emotions becoming permanent rather than fluctuating, as we can see in anxiety disorders and depression. A Tantric Approach to Emotions Tantra is a non-dualistic tradition that understands everything is interconnected—simultaneously part of and separate from everything else. It also teaches that all forms, including non-material forms such as emotions, are sentient, self-aware beings. What if we approached emotions from this tantric perspective? Let’s revisit the fear I felt from my mother’s news. From the tantric worldview: The source of fear: I would understand that this fear arises not only from news of her ill health but also from all my past experiences with her that have led me to love her—for without that love, I would not feel this fear. Expanding perspective: I would understand that this fear is shaped not only by all the people and circumstances that enabled my experiences with my mother but also by those that led my mother to be the person that she is. To have become pregnant with me and to live her life with me. That this emotion of fear is interconnected even to the experiences her parents had, which led to her to be born and to be the person she is. I would see this emotion as both part of and separate from everything else. Sentience: As I would understand all forms to be sentient, I would believe that this emotion—fear—to be its is its own being, a Spirit that has come to visit me. Attitude: I may understand that a visit from a great Spirit is a rare gift, that it has come to me for a reason and is an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. I may think it wise to make an offering of gratitude, to listen to what it has come to teach me. Seeing Emotions as Visiting Spirits By viewing emotions as interconnected and conscious, we can relate to them differently. Instead of suppressing or rejecting emotions, we can welcome them and listen to their messages. Taking a tantric approach to your emotions can support us towards: A healthier relationship with our emotions. This allows emotions to move naturally and avoids the physical and psychological challenges which occur when our emotions become  ‘stuck’ in our bodies. Why not see if I am right? Next time you experience a strong emotion, use the following tantric technique? Try This Tantric Practice for Emotional Regulation Choose an Object Select an object that represents the emotion you’re experiencing. Create a Quiet Space Sit as if to meditate in a quiet place, away from the noise of daily life. Place this object before you. Begin the Ritual by Bowing to the Object Say the following out loud or in your mind: Your name That you are calling in this emotion That you’re grateful it has chosen to visit you That you are open to the message it has for you Entering an Expanded State Stretch your arms horizontally to the sides, thumbs pointing up, fingers curled into fists. Inhale deeply through your mouth, filling your belly, chest, and shoulders. Hold your breath while tightening your pelvic floor (the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine). Draw your stomach in and up toward your solar plexus, keeping your arms extended, thumbs up, and muscles tense. Hold this as long as you can. When you need to exhale, Exhale fully, relax your muscles, lower your arms and release your breath fully through your mouth. With your lungs empty, hold your breath for as long as you can while focusing on the object. When you need to breathe, let yourself breathe naturally and keep a gentle focus on the object. Feel Fully Have the intention to listen to the Spirit of the Emotions message. Allow yourself to feel the emotion entirely, embracing any discomfort. Memories may surface, sensations may arise, and your body may shake or make sounds. Allow this. Let go of any need to analyse or understand— messages from the Spirit of the Emotion are seldom literal. Understandings will arrive as felt-senses, images and knowings. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to the object. Listen with your body. Allow whatever needs to move or to be felt or understood to emerge in your body.

I am a survivor of extreme abuse. My life today should be impossible. Tantra helped me to be reborn into meaning, purpose, deeply loving committed relationships and pleasure. It’s been a journey, but extraordinary, supernatural experiences of profound rebirth have been a vital part of my healing journey. Hi  I hope you’re having a beautiful festive season. These modern European expressions of the winter solstice – Christmas and New Year – are metaphors for rebirth, of beginning again. Before I was a tantra teacher, I was a storyteller. Winter is a wonderful time for stories – so here is a short SUPERNATURAL BUT TRUE tantric tale. Later in this newsletter, I’ll offer you a free gift that will excite anyone who has attended one of my events: an extraordinary, powerful, guided energy orgasm practice!   But for now, gather around the storytelling fire  A Tantric Rebirth The woman is old, and I don’t find her attractive. Why, I think, do I have to do this ritual with her? I glance across the room at the popular guy who has the three hottest women of the retreat serving him. I turn my attention to the older, bald guy, who will also be serving me and who I will inevitably have to serve when it’s his turn and sigh. I do not look at the third person of the ‘pod’ I’ve been assigned to – I can’t; if I do, I’ll turn bright beetroot red. She is beautiful, and I simply cannot do this ritual with her. I know in my bones she finds me ugly, intense and repelling, and she does not want to do it with me. The moment the ritual starts, she will, I am sure of it, refuse to touch me, and the pain of this will be unbearable. I am about to put my hand up and tell the tantra teacher I cannot do this, I just can’t. But as I look over, thinking about how to get the teacher’s attention, how to tell him I can’t do this, the tantra teacher swivels his head towards me. His glass-blue eyes are angry. His wrinkled face is heartless. Fear feels like it’s tearing my rib bones apart. I lie down. I squeeze my eyes shut. Please, please, please, I repeat over and over in the red glare of my closed eyes. The ritual consists of being intuitively touched by three people for three hours. We have been training all week on how to be guided by ’spirit’, so we are neither taking nor giving with our touch but allowing spirit to be channelled through us as we hold the intention of serving. As six hands begin to explore my body, my breath tightens to a knot inside my chest. I can’t bear it. A hand rests gently on my heart. Another caresses my hair and face. Hands sweep across my stomach, thighs, arms, my hands, my feet. My body softens, my eyes open for a moment and bent over me is my archetypal mother, my universal father, my timeless lover. Their faces are indistinct, a luminosity beneath their skin. Warm and held, I am. And in that moment, I scream, my lungs fill with air as if for the first time. The gentle eyes of the mother, her arms holding me tight, delight. The firm touch of the father. I am a young child playing around the fire. And as the candyfloss-soft hair of the lover tickles my belly, a yearning so strong for my sex to be accepted, welcomed and loved as part of who I am. Suddenly, the tantra teacher comes over. His hard, angry eyes. My abusers have come. The memory is sharp, a PTSD flashback. I recoil, twisting away. Fear breaking my rib bones into sharp shards of glass puncturing my lungs. Again, I can’t breathe. But now the mother wraps me in her arms, stroking my hair. ‘It’s alright, it’s alright.’ The strong presence of the father holding me tight. The kind eyes of the lover telling me she is there, she is not going anywhere. My heartbeat slows with the gentle rhythm of their touch. The abuser is gone and this time I was not left alone. This time, my parents stayed. This time, I was protected. The wise touch of six hands soothe my body. My mind disappears. There is only light expanding across the sky of my awareness. Pleasure like none I’ve ever known, vibrating deep within the marrow of my bones. And when the lover’s hand caresses my yearning sex and the mother holds my beating heart, I explode. A full-body energetic orgasm, the first I have ever had, shatters my consciousness. A tunnel of light. And I have an extraordinary experience for which I simply don’t have the words: my soul, that had left my body for so long, I saw it, felt it, knew it, chose to return to my body. An understanding that, finally, it was safe to come home. My life was never the same after this rebirth. Whereas before, I could remember little, riddled with trauma as I was, after this ritual, I could remember and experience and despite many challenges, begin to enjoy my life. I was able to feel my energy body and to move energy up the channel of kundalini and begin in earnest the path I have followed ever since. A path of healing my trauma and training so I can give the loving wisdom of my vibration as a gift into the world. My gratitude for the healing power of my own rebirth experiences fuels my heartfelt desire to offer the gift of rebirth rituals to others who seek healing. I would be honoured if you would attend my upcoming Love, Death, and Rebirth ritual, February 6th to 9th. For my mailing list subscribers, I am delighted to offer a 10% discount using this code: NEWSLETTER10  Imagine This…  What if you could truly start over—not in a cliché “fresh

This month I am excited to share with you another winter story – an extraordinary experience that happened over the new year and set me thinking about something – I think you will agree – is both important and fascinating! So it’s cold outside, let us once again, gather around the storytelling fire  Picture this… A train. A plane. Another train. A 5-kilometer trek in the freezing dark, through a forest in the north of Denmark.  The smell of ancient gnarled trees. The darkness is complete, sweet, velvet. My hands, stiff without gloves, my nose stinging in the cold. At last, a house looms.  Its lighted windows, ghostly bright in the dark. I have arrived at the Ting Gathering—a conscious event, no drugs or alcohol allowed, anarchist in spirit, no official leadership and all decisions are made in a circle, passing a ‘speaking stick’ from hand to hand. Think workshops, kundalini yoga, and songs of oneness around a fire. And as I stumble out of the night and into the warmth, I find that the group is midway way through the evening circle. The atmosphere in the room is sour with tension. Why? A Palestinian flag is hanging on the wall and a man, holding the stick is demanding its removal:  that flag, he says, should be burned. My rib bones feel as if they are being crushed. Before I know it, despite the fact that I’ve just arrived, I’m standing up, words pouring from me unbidden. “My father is Palestinian. He could be shot by a settler or soldier at any moment. How can you say that?” Silence, thick and suffocating fills the room. “It was a joke,” the man mutters. The stick is passed. Another man stands up and says: This flag should be up as a protest against the Rothschilds who are behind these atrocities. Again, I’m on my feet: “My mother is an Israeli Jew who like countless Jews opposes this genocide. How dare you defend Palestinians by spreading antisemitic conspiracy theories?” The next days are a knot of frustration. I am utterly bewildered by the opposition to showing solidarity for the two million Palestinians in Gaza who are being systematically exterminated in the most horrific ways with the support of our governments. I am shocked at the levels of explicit antisemitism tolerated at the gathering. Some spend hours and hours in circle debating the issue. Men and women in their 50s’ and 60s’, acting like three-year-olds, rave on and on while the room slowly empties and people shout for them to pass on the stick. I don’t seem to be able to walk from my dormitory to the bathroom without being harassed about the issue. A man, full of aggression, shouts at me for wanting the flag on the wall. When others intervene to protect me, he starts sticking his tongue out and making farting sounds whenever anyone speaks to him. Another man follows me around, wanting to find out if I am an Ashkenazi jew, trying to convince me that they rule the world. Yet another harasses me telling me to build a “watermelon shrine” for my father. Poor mental health seemed to abound at the gathering: an ambulance is called for a woman who is suffering from acute psychosis. Finally, the conflict over the flag reaches a climax when someone steals the flag. It’s never seen again. Disillusioned and concerned by what I had witnessed and experienced, I chose not to spend New Year’s Eve there.. Why does the conscious community attract people with Far-Right views and mental health issues? Spiritual modalities such as tantra and shamanic plant medicine are powerful tools for healing. They can address PTSD, depression, anxiety, and more. It is no surprise, that those grappling with mental health issues are drawn to such spaces. I was one of those people and I am deeply grateful for the benefit I received from such practices. However, there is a more sinister reason for the prevalence of far-right views within conscious communities. Spiritual experiences often open us up to the possibility that the world is not as it seems. For example: I remember the first time I felt my aura with my hand or when, in a trance, I spoke a language that I did not know. These moments shook me to my core. I’d been told such things were impossible, and yet there they were. I felt I had been lied to. This made me open to the idea that there is more going on than I have been told. Social media companies know that individuals who have had mystical experiences tend to be more receptive to questioning conventional narratives and established explanations of reality. It’s for this reason there algorithms define those who are  ‘spiritual’ as ‘persuadable’. We are then targeted with Far-Right propaganda which reinforces the idea that “we are being lied to”. Sophisticated campaigns frame democratic systems that limit corporate profit, as threats to individual freedom and portray women, immigrants, trans people, Muslims and black communities as threats. This propaganda directs anger at scapegoats and diverts attention from the real cause of the crisis: the largest transfer of wealth to the richest 1% in human history. Today, inequality has reached unprecedented levels. Why does this matter? In Europe, nearly all indigenous wisdom was eradicated during the brutal slaughter of Pagans. In the Americas, over 95% of indigenous peoples were wiped out. The origins of the spiritual practices that you may have used will have l roots in indigenous and non-western communities and cultures. These practices survived because of the bravery of those who fought and refused to let their cultures and traditions die. If you’ve benefited from spiritual practices, I urge you to honour their origins and to recognize the courage of the Indigenous and non-white peoples who, despite colonization, genocide, and violence, kept these powerful worldviews alive. If for no other reason than gratitude for the bravery and sacrifice that enables you to now benefit from such powerful healing modalities, let’s confront